Today I sat in my not-so-recently visited regular coffee shop, being watched by an old-ish grey haired woman from across the conservatory; I remember because she was irritating me through my peripheral vision by impulsively shaking her leg, seemingly unable to keep control over her nervous movement, but endearing in its own way and apparently harmless.
As I was sitting there reading a couple of travel blog posts and contemplating cycling back to my temporary home, my phone screen lit up with message from a friend asking if I was ready. I replied with “I have been saying goodbye to Cardiff for the entire year.” Being ready isn’t even a question any more.
I want to discover what exists beyond the man-made, what lies beyond these boundaries we have set ourselves. In a tug of war between nature and humanity I want to know what happens if you let go of the rope. Britain especially, and especially now, has held the biggest rope for me. So many regulations, processes, man-made laws, I want to get out of this suffocating Western land, always badly ruled by idiotic egotistical characters, always at war with its own people. Left behind and out of touch with the modern advancements of the world.
Our truth lies beyond the boundaries of context. I am traveling because I want to know what happens when you break through these barriers. I want to live long and full enough to discover what this energy means. What is it’s name, the force that holds us all together? What does it feel like to be let out of the cage of petty, problematic human experience and experience the world outside? What does it feel like to learn the truth?
And honestly I’m not really nervous, maybe I should be. It’s just that I have been reaching for this for the whole year, I said goodbye to Cardiff upon returning from Italy in September of last year and after the ‘Brexit’ dramatics the yearning only got stronger. There is an energy inside me, but it is far from the expected butterflies; more like a vibration, or an elastic band taught and ready to launch me forward.
This is why I travel, because I have to.